Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Yesterday, I felt something that I don't feel very often....rage. All over a little note sent home from Emma's teacher explaining that other kids told her that Emma was swearing at them. And we're not talking little swears. We're talking wash-your-mouth-out-with-soap swears. So, you think my rage was towards Emma? No, it was toward the teacher.

Let's just pretense this by saying that even though Emma's english is coming along well enough, it is still very difficult for her to learn words unless she's heard them over and over again. And even after learning them, learning HOW to use them is a whole new ball game. We attribute this to her delays and her memory issues. Now, I can guarantee you she's never heard those words in our house except maybe the odd occasional slip. We don't even watch movies with an "R" rating around here.

We calmly sat down with Emma after school and had a discussion around this note, and assured her there would be no consequences for her telling us the truth. (Can't get anything out of her when she's scared) She openly admitted to saying "bad words." what bad words did you say?......To this question we got a resounding "ummmmmmm." Emma is very truthful when it comes to admitting things she's done wrong, so we kept on it for a little while. After about twenty minutes or so, she was still not able to tell us the words she had said. Why not? Because she doesn't KNOW or remember them. How can a kid that doesn't know any swear words possibly be swearing at the other kids. The ONLY possible way is by them saying it to her, and her repeating it back.

How her teacher can not realize this is beyond me. She included in her note that she had a serious talk with Emma (ok, that's fine) and that there would be serious consequences if this happens again. Consequences? Consequences? Where are the consequences for the kids who are swearing at her? What are the consequences for the kids who taught Emma the phrase "I'm going to kill you"?, because I KNOW she didn't learn that one at home!

We firmly believe the "fights" that Emma is getting into are instigated by other kids as well. It is just not in her nature to be fighting or swearing. I truly believe she is doing the best to defend herself the only way she knows how. She's lived the first six years of her life having little to no guidance in behavioural or social skills, and unfortunately we aren't there with her at school to give her that guidance. What's even more unfortunate is that we've brought this up with teacher and she told us it's just too difficult to keep an eye on one kid out of two hundred and fifty others.

I was so irate yesterday I was jumping at the chance to set up a meeting with teacher to discuss these issues. Lucky for them, I couldn't get out of work on time. There might have been a few more "bad words.".............LOL! OK, those of you who really know me know that wouldn't actually happen! Although we couldn't make it in, Terry was able to phone and speak with Emma's resource teacher. She was completely blown away by what's going on and completely agrees with our assumptions. What happens next, we're not sure, but she told us she would be looking into this matter further.

This is making our decision to switch schools next year a lot easier. However, which school to put her in still remains a tough choice.


  1. So frustrating! School is such a two edged sword! Get the principal involved too. In fact, go to the principal before you get in any deeper with the teacher. It will help a lot.

  2. I know you guys said you were having Emma checked with lots of specialists--have you had her tested for speech apraxia? Our son Alex, home from Ukraine in Dec 2007, has speech apraxia. Some of what you described in a previous post about Emma's speech sounds similar to Alex.